Before choosing which book to read from our list, I "Google-Booked" them first and read through the first few pages to find one that I would enjoy. As I blasted through the first chapter of Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man, by Bill Clegg, I knew I had found a winner.
I was instantly intrigued by this particular book because of its relevency. I have lost many of my childhood friends to this drug, primarily because I distance myself from anyone who starts down this path, for obvious reasons. I'm not claiming innocence over here, in fact, many of the situations described (in jaw-clenched detail, I might add) and feelings of despair can translate to many other drugs, as well. Let me just say: the line is drawn at crack and heroin between me and my current friends because dabbling with them always ends with the person changing for the worse; period.
First of all, the intensity and pace set by this memoir is riveting, to say the least. I literally read it in two sittings. Right from the beginning the reader is thrust into the author's situation, and I could not put it down. This is one of the book's greatest stregnths: it starts in the middle, with the author in the thick of his situation to the point where he is almost already a lost cause. I really felt was he was feeling as he raced from one safe haven to another and found myself (to my horror) rooting for him everytime he made it into a new hotel room. Clegg also does an amazing job of making you feel as though you have followed the character on this six week crack binge; I felt exhausted and exhilerated at the same time, and completely rung-out. I've had a few rough weekends in my day, but nothing comparing to this seemingly never-ending run.
There are a few things that I found a little irritating: The book is written with (at least) two storylines going at the same time; one starts after the author falls off the wagon after his first rehab stint, and the other as far as I can tell when he is a boy. It can be a little confusing at times, because there is some jumping around in the memoir; but I feel that when the stories begin to converge in the timelineis when it becomes a slight issue. What I mean is, when the "second timeline" (where the author starts off as a boy) catches up to where he starts smoking crack and all the events before his first rehab stint happen, it can be hard to remember exactly which timeline you are reading because they have the same patterns: hit up atm, avoid Noah's calls, meet some random "drug f(r)iend," score crack, get hotel, rinse, repeat.
Another thing that bothered me just a little bit: unresolved issues. Being that this is a memoir and not a novel, it is forgivable, obviously. And many of the things the author "sees" or "hears" (JCPenny guys, cabbie comments, cabbie index cards with sharpie marking) can be chalked up to the fact that he's incredibly (inhumanly at times!) strung out on crack and apparently hasn't slept in about six weeks, give or take. That can be excused, but what I felt like I needed more explanation about was the "peeing issue." Especially the way he described it as pinching and rubbing, jumping up and down, and the blood. The author states toward the end that even he never got closure on this, so I guess we are meant to feel the same way: confused and slightly mortified.
Overall I have to say this book was completely enthralling. I definitly felt that many of the most important feelings he expressed were so honest and genuine that it was mind-blowing. Example: toward the end the author describes his nights as always trying to find a way to disappear from his boyfriend (or anything, for that matter) so he can get his fix. It seemed true-to-life for me that this is how someone under the spell of freebasing would think: with one purpose, and one alone: get more crack. I also really liked the repitition of the line he remembered from some novel, "it would be now," pertaining to everything from being arrested to ODing. Lots of realistic details and thoughts really ground the reader while you are swept away on what is an intense rollercoaster ride. Highly recommended!!
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